Things You Should Know About Driving in Nigeria || Humour

    • Do not attempt driving on a Nigerian road if you have not been well trained. Any driving lessons outside Nigeria do not count. If you hold a driver’s license from any other country, I will advise that you get some Nigerian-specific lessons as you are no better than a learner.
    • Speed limit signs are mere suggestions; don’t feel the need to obey them. If you do, you will certainly be shamed by other drivers – you will know you are being shamed when you hear the sound(s) of blaring horns from vehicles around you.
    • Still on the horn honking: Do not hesitate to use your horn when driving in a quiet street even when you are driving the only car in sight. This is to ensure that everyone knows you are driving a car. Also, do not hesitate to use your horn to greet friends or people you know along the road or to even demonstrate your anger to other drivers. Point is: use your horn liberally.
    • Due to potholes; you may not need to drive within the lines on the road – supposing there are any.
    • Be always at alert because you may need to employ your brakes or swerve at any point in time albeit very suddenly. This can be because:
        1. Every point on the road is a potential bus/taxi stop.
        2. A driver who clearly believes he’s immortal (Please do not try to convince him otherwise) will likely come barreling from behind you at extreme velocities.
        3. Dogs and goats also use the same road, so you need to consider that they may choose to cross the road at any point in time.
        4. Also, Don’t forget the Mallams and their herds of cattle.
    • You will come to find that swimming pools and Jacuzzis are cleverly placed at different points on the road to test your driving skills and to also test your car’s shock absorber. By the way, these swimming pools are known as pot holes here.
    • Those funnily clad guys in orange or green vests are not comedians; they are traffic wardens and the hand thingy they do is supposed to direct your driving. You should completely assume for the sake of your safety that they (Traffic Wardens) are traffic lights.
    • Always remember to take some cash with you wherever you go because the police men can stop you at any point in time- and believe me; you will be found guilty of an offense. As a matter of fact, you will come to find that the police men are more powerful than legislators in making and passing laws.
    • Zebra crossing marks are decorations for the road. If you insist on using them as you would elsewhere, ensure that you have a good life insurance to help the loved ones you will be leaving behind.
    • The number of seats in a vehicle are not indicative of how many people can actually sit in it (or on it). Incidentally, don’t feel limited to transporting just humans: Cattle, sheep and tonight’s (live-but-not-for-long) chicken dinner have to get there, too.
    • Rules are subject to personal interpretation and desire to follow.

………………….I believe I exceeded my sarcasm limit while writing this post 😦

                                                                                 E go better………………………………

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